Illness and death are on my mind this week as Fong Yee recovers from an ear infection and I contemplate writing my will. I question many of my mothering decisions I make such as giving Fong Yee an antibiotic for her ear infection. I worry about giving a seven-month-old baby an antibiotic.
Research on the Internet shows that garlic in olive oil supposedly works. The Big Carrot also sells drops composed of St.John’s Wort and olive oil. How will I know though if she’s suffering from ear infection when she can’t speak? I can take her to the doctor again, but the doctor is a conservative one who immediately prescribes an antibiotic. I’m sure if this is the start of many worries to come as Fong Yee grows up. I’ll probably never questioning my judgement.
At the same time as I worry about her health, I can’t help but think about what arrangements to make for Fong Yee if Jake and I both die. The thought sickens me, but it’s better to be prepared than not. My oh-so-large estate meant I could just go to Staples and buy a will kit. After puzzling over the forms I finally realized this week that I need instructions on how to fill out those forms. So I went back to Staples and bought a book. Every thing of substance in my life seems to require a manual these days judging from my bulging folder of manuals.